there's a wall of traffic between us...

you gesticulate wildly,
hands outstretched to the heavens praying,
"Oh God, listen!"
but there's an ambulance screaming hot headed siren
to an emergency more bloody than ours
how can anyone hear anything in this loud mouthed city?

i've thought
thousands of thoughts
said thousands of words to you when i'm alone
and i know
somewhere over the sirens and space
you still hear me
we're connected like that like
i'm thinking about peach pie
and at a sunny diner counter somewhere you're ordering a slice

there used to be a real, big wall between us
but we tore it down to reveal people we hadn't ever met
you clasp a faded photo of a pretty girl in your sweaty left fist and
shake it like an etch-a-sketch you hope will rearrange into my face
the me you remember is a late night TV fantasy
the you i remember is a mirage in the mouth of the thirsty

you'll pedal someplace
and drier
and warmer
a springtime desert in bloom
seeking infinitely intangible
i'll make your memory out of excuses
doctored photographs
and bargaining
hate myself when i beg but
do it anyway
i miss my reflection in your worldview
i know it's a bad idea but i
do it anyway
still a fish out of water in
smoky late night glasses
bleeding romantic misery pen strokes

if you ever said yes to me?

i'd have nothing to write about.

dissatisfaction painted every painting
penned every song
so say no again!
i'll sculpt a new heart from
fragments of the old
proudly let the scars show through like
the lines carving deeper in the corners of these
easy blue eyes
tell the story of a joyful life
of being broken open and
sewn back together again

if i die tomorrow don't
commit me to the earth
scatter my ashes on the wind
so i can spin
eternal in the air
still meaning seeking
secret border hopping to
places that require visas
molecules of me wrapped in your hair

we don't know how many breaths we get
so let's breathe each other slowly
while we can
let's tell secrets in smiles and
kiss like we mean it

i want to die because my heart was so full
it exploded.


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