What Have You Been Learning Lately?

The Fool When I was younger and would, all wide-eyed-and-eager, tell my daddy that I loved him, he would say, "Thank you." The absence of that four letter word from his expression created a vacuum in my heart that knew no bounds. For years I ached a little empty all the time, consuming all kinds of unhealthy anything trying to fill this void that never would've existed if not for an apparent lack of L-O-V-E. It's so small, so simple, a single syllable that would've meant so much. See, the things we don't say and do matter immensely- sometimes more than the things that are said and done. There is no room in the mind of the egomaniacal child to account for the foibles of their parents, so when the child doesn't receive the feedback they are looking for, of course there is something wrong with them. This child will grow into an adult who wonders, silently and aloud, if they are okay. Sugar addresses this perfectly in this quote from her beautiful forty f...

Stereotypically speaking, there is a drive for stability among women that inspires us to root deep, settle in and give birth to beautiful things...art, gardens, babies, community. Not all the women I've ever met are like this, and I must admit that I used to be baffled by their apparent ungroundedness. Those who know me know that I love cozy nesting and nurturing, and that I am very grounded and steady. That was until about a year ago. Something happened to me and since then I am repulsed by the mere idea of staying still and growing anything. It feels so fundamentally wrong for me to be tethered to where I am that I have spent the last year resisting any attempts to stay put. Since this is so contrary to my nature, it's been a disorienting year. I have been extremely confused by and frustrated with my own resistance. I've meditated and prayed for clarity: Where am I supposed to be? What should I be doing?? I have researched  moving to different places, applied for jobs...

A couple of weeks ago, this was my Free Will Astrology horoscope: "Live out of your imagination, not your history," says Stephen Covey, author of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. While that's always true, it will be especially crucial for you to remember in 2012. This is the year you can transcend stale traditions -- a time when you can escape your outworn habits, reprogram your conditioned responses, and dissolve old karma. You will be getting unparalleled opportunities to render the past irrelevant. And the key to unlocking all the magic will be your freewheeling yet highly disciplined imagination. Call on it often to show you the way toward the future. Say what you will about astrology, but you have to admit that this is some wise advice. I was on a date recently with a fella who, like everyone else, has some baggage . As he described the current complications in his life, I couldn't help but think about the history we carry into new relatio...

By and large, our lives are shaped by the things we do over and over, day in day out, tires circling through well-worn grooves. These are the routines and habits that lend form to days and weeks and years, and give the world illusory order. As long as everything remains the same, we know what to do. There is safety and comfort in the repetition. My life is filled with these little routines. I have a specific order in which I get ready for bed that's remained basically unchanged for several years. Lately I've been watching my repetition and considering what these habits are creating in my life. Small, daily choices can add up over time to become so much more important than each of the individual choices along the way. One cigarette won't kill you, but thousands over a period of years will. So will years of poor daily dietary choices and the no exercise habit. Conversely, there are all kinds of wonderful little routine gifts we can give ourselves to create a positive futu...

About a month ago I hit a majorly delayed adult milestone that I (only half jokingly) always swore I would never hit: I finally got my driver license. I learned to drive at the typical age and would occasionally renew my permit to contribute to road trip driving but never followed through and got the license. My quip for years was, "I don't drive, honey, I'm driven," and that was cute until it suddenly wasn't anymore. Suddenly I woke up and realized that I was reaching into the end of my 20's and really needed to get my shit together. I mean, come on! Besides native New Yorkers, who gets to be my age and doesn't have their license? Not being licensed was a clever way to limit my options and the size of my life for a long time. It disqualified me from taking good, challenging jobs, traveling to exciting places outside the reach of public transit and otherwise participating in typical adult life. I used to have a reoccurring anxiety dream that I would need...

91 years old. That's what's up. There's a great conversation going in the yoga blogs about the commercialization/sexualization of yoga and the commodification of women's bodies in the process. A regular complaint in the blogs and their comment sections is the lack of diverse images of yogis, particularly in advertising for yoga products. The predominant image of yogis being fit, bendy, young white women has been accused of scaring away people that might benefit enormously from the practice. Being a rabid yoga evangelist, I can't tell you how many times I've been told by someone that they're not "young/thin/flexible enough" to do yoga...and you can't blame them for believing that when the images they are exposed to show them physical forms that they don't apparently resemble in poses that seem laughably impossible. Today I came across an article about a nonagenarian named Bernice who is being touted as the "world's oldest yo...

When I started so purkh -ing over a year ago, I did it with the intention of blessing and elevating my dad and brother, and resolving any lingering emotion in relationships past. The prayer can be applied for the purpose of calling in one's Beloved, but all I really needed at the time was a clean break. I wasn't in the market for a lifelong partner. Similarly, when I set up my online dating profile I was still not looking for a mate. I just wanted to date in a normal, Hollywood movie way and get a better understanding of dudes. It's been a real mixed bag of an experiment. One guy got so upset when I wasn't comfortable coming over to his house after the first date ("I thought I did a good job proving that I'm not crazy." Ahem.) that he determined that we could never be together. Another fella smiled and flirted and smiled, sent me links to his music and never called again. And then there was the guy in rainbow cheetah print leggings. We won't get into...